When a child's behaviour becomes challenging, parents often find themselves feeling uncertain and helpless. Some may hesitate to discuss their struggles, feeling ashamed or unsure about how to address problematic behaviour. It's not uncommon for parents to feel like they're walking on eggshells to avoid triggering outbursts.

Understanding the Causes of Challenging Behaviour

Identifying the root cause of a child's challenging behavior may not always be apparent to parents. It could stem from issues at school such as bullying, attention-seeking, or hormonal mood swings. When a child struggles to manage their emotions, it's important for parents to maintain confidence in their parenting abilities despite the challenging circumstances.

Managing Problematic Behavior in Your Child

Create an Open Dialogue

Set aside dedicated time to check in with your child. Encourage them to share their feelings, recognizing that it may not be easy for them to open up immediately.

Provide a Communication Outlet

Leave a journal or notebook for your child to write down their feelings if they find it challenging to express themselves verbally.

Affirmation of Love

Remind your child that they are loved unconditionally, irrespective of their behavior.

Ask Exploratory Questions

Pose questions to help your child explore their anger, such as how it feels when they reach a breaking point and how they feel afterward.

Normalizing Feelings

Validate that feeling angry or upset at times is natural and acceptable. Set clear limits on unacceptable behaviors.

Model Appropriate Behaviour

Be mindful of your own behaviour, as children learn from observation. If problem-solving in your family involves raised voices or fists, they may adopt similar behaviour.

Defuse Angry Situations

Lower your voice and make eye contact when attempting to defuse an angry situation. Engage in calm conversations with your child when they are in a more relaxed state.

Encourage Healthy Expression

Teach your child how to manage their feelings in a healthy way. Encourage them to express emotions verbally, using phrases like "I feel sad/angry/left out."

Separate Actions from Love

Reinforce the concept that while you love them, certain actions are not acceptable. For example, you can say, "I love you, but I don’t love your actions."

Avoid Blame or Punishment

Refrain from blaming or punishing your child, as this can damage their self-esteem and potentially escalate aggression. Instead, praise and reward positive behavior to encourage positive changes.

Remember, addressing challenging behaviour requires patience, understanding, and consistent positive reinforcement. By maintaining open communication and focusing on constructive solutions, you can help your child navigate and manage their emotions effectively.