Identifying self-harming behaviour in children requires careful observation and attention to signs that may indicate distress. It's important to note that self-harm is often a coping mechanism for emotional pain, and addressing it requires a compassionate and supportive approach. Here are some signs that may suggest a child is engaging in self-harming behaviour:

1. Unexplained Cuts, Bruises, or Scratches:

• Noticeable injuries that the child struggles to explain or attributes to accidents.

2. Wearing Long Sleeves or Pants inappropriately:

• Consistent wearing of long clothing, even in warm weather, to conceal potential self-inflicted injuries.

3. Frequent Use of Bandages or Coverings:

• Regular use of bandages or coverings on specific body parts, especially without an apparent injury or explanation.

4. Presence of Sharp Objects:

• Discovery of sharp objects, such as razors or knives, in the child's belongings or surroundings.

5. Isolation and Withdrawal:

• Increased isolation and withdrawal from friends and family, avoiding social interactions.

6. Emotional Changes:

• Noticeable changes in mood, including increased irritability, sadness, or anxiety.

7. Difficulty Handling Stress:

• Expressing difficulty in coping with stress or overwhelming emotions.

8. Changes in Clothing or Personal Style:

• Sudden changes in clothing or personal style that may be an attempt to hide or draw attention away from self-harm scars or injuries.

9. Expressing Feelings of Hopelessness:

• Verbalizing feelings of hopelessness, despair, or a lack of purpose.

10. Increased Secrecy:

• Heightened secrecy about personal activities or time spent alone.

11. Evidence of Self-Harm Online:

• Discovering evidence of self-harm, discussions, or images on the child's online activities or social media profiles.

12. Use of Unusual Items for Self-Harm:

• Finding evidence of self-harm involving unusual items, such as paperclips, erasers, or other non-traditional objects.

13. Changes in Sleep Patterns:

• Disruptions in sleep patterns, including insomnia or excessive sleeping.

14. Changes in Academic Performance:

• A sudden decline in academic performance, lack of interest in school, or frequent absences.

15. Expression of Emotional Pain Through Art or Writing:

• Artwork, poetry, or writing that expresses emotional pain, despair, or self-harm themes.

16. Presence of Unexplained Tools or Instruments:

• Discovering tools or instruments that may be used for self-harm, such as sharp objects or ligatures.

17. Difficulty in Expressing Emotions:

• Difficulty expressing emotions verbally or engaging in emotional conversations.

18. Evidence of Burning:

• Discovering evidence of burns, such as singed clothing or items in the child's possession.

19. Changes in Eating Habits:

• Significant changes in eating habits, including loss of appetite or binge eating.

20. Physical Health Issues:

• Frequent complaints of physical health issues that may be a result of self-harming behaviours.

If you observe any of these signs, it's important to approach the situation with sensitivity and seek professional help. Addressing self-harming behaviour often requires the involvement of mental health professionals, counsellors, or therapists who can work with the child and their family to address underlying issues and provide support. If you are concerned about a child's safety, seek help immediately from healthcare professionals, crisis hotlines, or emergency services.

If you suspect that your child is self-harming, it's crucial to approach the situation with sensitivity, empathy, and a commitment to providing support. Here are steps you can take if you suspect your child is engaging in self-harming behaviour:

1. Stay Calm:

• As a parent, it's natural to feel a range of emotions, but try to stay calm when addressing the situation. Approach the matter with empathy and understanding.

2. Initiate Open Communication:

• Find a quiet and private space to talk with your child. Express your concern and let them know you are there to listen without judgment.

3. Be Non-Judgmental:

• Avoid expressing anger or disappointment. Instead, communicate your love and concern for their well-being. Reinforce that your primary goal is to understand their feelings and support them.

4. Ask Direct Questions:

• Approach the conversation with sensitivity, but ask direct and open-ended questions about their feelings, emotions, and any concerns you may have.

5. Listen Actively:

• Give your child the opportunity to express themselves. Listen actively, without interrupting, and show that you are genuinely interested in understanding their perspective.

6. Express Your Support:

• Assure your child that you are there to support them, no matter what they are going through. Emphasize that seeking help is a positive and courageous step.

7. Avoid Guilt or Blame:

• Refrain from making your child feel guilty or blaming them for their actions. Self-harming behaviour is often a coping mechanism, and expressing understanding can facilitate open communication.

8. Seek Professional Help:

• Reach out to mental health professionals, such as a therapist, counsellor, or psychiatrist, who specialize in working with adolescents. Professional guidance is crucial in understanding and addressing the underlying issues.

9. Involve School and Support Systems:

• Contact your child's school to discuss the situation with teachers or counsellors. Collaborate with other support systems, such as friends, family members, or mentors, to create a network of assistance.

10. Remove Harmful Objects:

• Safeguard your home by removing any objects that your child may be using for self-harm. This includes sharp objects, medications, or other potential tools.

11. Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms:

• Work with your child to explore and develop healthier coping mechanisms for dealing with stress, emotions, or difficult situations.

12. Establish a Safety Plan:

• Collaborate with mental health professionals to develop a safety plan that outlines steps to take when your child is feeling overwhelmed or tempted to self-harm.

13. Monitor and Check-In:

• Keep a close eye on your child's well-being. Regularly check in with them to understand how they are feeling and if they need additional support.

14. Educate Yourself:

• Learn more about self-harming behaviour and the underlying mental health issues that may contribute to it. Being informed will help you better support your child.

15. Promote a Supportive Environment:

• Foster a supportive and understanding environment at home. Encourage open communication and make it clear that seeking help is a positive and encouraged step.

16. Be Patient:

• Recovery from self-harming behaviours takes time. Be patient with your child and provide ongoing support throughout the process.

17. Encourage Peer Support:

• If appropriate, encourage your child to connect with supportive friends who can provide positive influences and understanding.

18. Be Prepared for Relapses:

• Understand that recovery is not always linear. There may be setbacks or relapses, and it's essential to continue providing support and seeking professional guidance.

19. Attend Family Counselling:

• Consider attending family counselling to address any underlying family dynamics that may contribute to your child's struggles.

20. Emergency Response Plan:

• If your child is in immediate danger, call emergency services or take them to the nearest emergency room for urgent assistance.

Remember, addressing self-harming behaviour requires professional intervention, and you are not alone in supporting your child through this challenging time. Reach out to mental health professionals and leverage available resources to provide the necessary help and support for your child's well-being.

https://southerntrust.hscni.net/service/camhs/

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/childrens-mental-health/self-harm/

https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-a-z-mental-health-guide/self-harm/